That was when I was sort of still held by my Christian beliefs, and I was at a phase to not embrace my pagan path as much as I should have been. But I cherish those memories now like signs that I am finally where I need to be. So when this male guide came through, he introduced me to him through the name of Hondor. That's how it came through to me, but it sounds more like Hund Dor. He explained to me how he and I share a past life a long time ago in the regions of the Vikings. It was in the 700's AD. This was a lifetime which did not end in a happy ending necessarily. Long story short, I died well before my time during a storm on a Viking Knarr ship. I fell off the ship during a terrible storm, and it was my death. A death that eats at me even now. I remember as if it only happened yesterday. I recall screaming and the feeling of dread. I remember the icy cold water, and being submerged by darkness and water with only the stars above to give me a little hope after the ship went out of view. I remember hearing the screams of those on the ship calling my name, Hondor calling my name. I remember my name then, it was Fonn. This is something that has haunted me since I was a kid.
I remember going body surfing with my older brothers. It was so much fun, but I then began to get these terrible dreams of large tidal waves taking me under and washing me away. These monsterous large Ocean Waves consuming me. The Ocean is something I love. I don't fear it. I am a Cancer in astrology, July 5th is my birthdate. I love the water, but seeing large waves gives me this sinking feeling in my heart. When that information came through about my past life it's like it all made sense. The more I embraced my connection to my male spirit guide who had always been ever present. The more I opened my heart to him after all the years of ignoring it, I realized key things that gave me indications that he was giving me riddles to solve. My spirit guides loved to speak to me in riddles, to see if I could figure out the truth. It was like quests they would send me on, and they still do sometimes. They wanted me to learn some stuff on my own instead of just telling me. So I just happened to be coming accross some Old Norse words, and I made the connection that Hund Dor (how I sounded out the word Hondor) roughly translates to Hand Of Thor. Then there was a lot of other key elements, which I will not name here as it would take too long, that led me to the realization that there's more to this male spirit guide then he is revealing. So one day I got the balls to ask him the truth, and he revealed to me the truth... He is the Norse God Thor. So Thor took on the presence of a spirit guide figure to me throughout my life so that I could get to know him for him. So that I wouldn't see him for a Godly presence or a Thunder controling, hammer wielding spirit who is seen as a God on earth. He did that so that I could get to know the real him, the deeper true him. I also want to say that in no way am I demeaning anyone else who connects with him. I am merely sharing my own journey. But anyway, I did get to know the deeper him. In fact, he never speaks of his hammer when connecting with me. It's none of those cliche's that the Norse God in the mythologies seem to be associated with. He's very loving, wise, strong, passionate, protective, and powerful. I find comfort knowing that I have such a strong bond with him. It's simular to how a devoted Christian might feel comforted by knowing Jesus cares. That's how much passion I feel for my Hondor... for Thor. There is so much more I could say on this topic, but that's as much as I am going to write. I share this because I feel I've been called to share more over this past year. Perhaps I will learn more from sharing my experiences. Perhaps there is someone else out there with simular experiences, and by me sharing my experiences our paths will cross. I have crossed paths with a lot of great Norse God devotee's by me sharing my own experiences, and I cherish those connections with other devotee's or other Godspouses that I have met.
Another whom I have a deep connection with is Loki. This is partly through the underworld, Helheim. I connect with Helheim entities a lot, and those of the underworld are not all bad. Just like Loki, who is seen as evil by many, but he's not. Sure he's mischevious, he loves a good prank sometimes. He can be destructive.... but not in a bad way necessarily. It's in a destructive way so you can rebuild a stronger foundation. My husband has worked with Loki and his spirit guides by overcoming his anger. But in order for him to control his anger, he needed to experience that anger. That can be seen as the destructive side, but through that darkness he was brought to the light through overcoming anger and being more balanced. Loki helped with that. For me he has been guiding me over the past few years to be more open about him and I. So I started to talk more about how I work with him to friends who I thought I could trust. Some of that turned out good, some not. But I learned, and I broadened it. I began sharing my Loki experiences on my YouTube channel. That really showed great benefits for me personally, because I faced my fear of being judged. I didn't want people to look at me as some bullshit fan girl. I cannot say this enough... I do not associate Loki with the Loki from the Thor movies. It's like fire and water, that's how different I see it. Loki has many disguises though.
One thing I can say for the Thor movies is that they have awakened many people to the Norse Gods, and I see that as a GREAT THING!! However you're brought to them doesn't matters. What does matter is what you do with it. If you choose to dig deeper and learn more about Norse Mythology and more about the Norse Gods. It's like Christianity, people can be brought to Jesus through movies of Jesus. Some people are guided to believing in Angels through movies about guardian angels. It's the same for those who are brought to their Norse God connection their movies or media... it's okay. I will say this though... the Thor movies did help awaken me to learn more about the TRUTH of the Norse Gods. That research is what helped me to really appriciate them even more. Before I would know about them through what teachers in school may have said or through a few tales that were passed down in childhood. But researching about them was so fun. I urge anyone who feels curious about them to do your own research. You'll be led to what you need to.
Back to my connection to Loki, he is someone I see as a best friend. Someone who is like a kindred spirit to me. I always feel so awakened when connecting with him. The past few years I have began to dig deeper and truly accept my connection to him, and I believe that he and I are kindred souls. He has guided me to many places in dreams, meditations, and astral travels. He has showed me so much, and when I do have an astral journey with him it's always cherished. I remember one journey to a place in Helheim with him, and he showed me a river which was simular to the river sticks in Greek Mythology of the underworld river of Hades. But this place was beautiful in a dark way. When I connect with him about others, he normally always has something good to say about people. Sure he can have a destructive side, and I have heard that some Lokeans or people who are Loki devotees have issues with him ignoring them or having arguments with him. This is also true for some Lokean Godspouses. In my own experiences I can say that I haven't had any bad experiences with Loki. But I am someone who is hard to make angry. I try to avoid confrontation, and that is also something they've been helping me with. So that also could be why I only see his good side. I am sure he can have a negative side, don't we all? I have saw Thor's destructive side before, but not targeted towards me. He's normally very patient with me. But don't let that deter you from connecting with either of them if they're God's whom you admire. I hope this helps someone out there embrace their own journey, because that's why I am sharing it. It's my way of embracing my own journey.