My Pursuit Of Pagan Friendship

             I don't understand friendships here on earth. It's something that I must have lost a luster for, because I am just so over trying to keep friendships going. Whether they be in person friendships or distant friendships. I think my beliefs is a part of what pushes people away, but my beliefs are my own and I guess I can see how that's a lot to take in. I am not extremely open with people about my beliefs, but when I do open up... slowly people end up pushing away from me. It's like what the fuck?! To explain myself properly, I guess I have to be open a little about some of my beliefs. I have a very Pagan lifestyle. It's not a religion to me, it's much more then a belief, it's a way of life for me and my husband. No it's not about casting spells and shit like that, which is fine, but we only do those things when needed. Such as to defend ourselves, protect or cleanse ourselves, or to manifest something. 

           My Pagan side has got me to a point where I try to keep my spiritual focus in daily life. I also channel entities sometimes, not always though, but sometimes. Entities such as Deities, Demons, Angels, Other Dimensional Beings, "Aliens", etc. Yes I said Demons. I like to try to see the good in everyone, because honestly it's about balance. Yin and Yang. I have had positive experiences with entities most commonly known as Demons. But that is also something that I don't discuss with people much, but when I do become open about it... people end up pushing themselves away from me. Christian Fear? Maybe... I don't really know. But what I do know is that I'm tired of trying to hide what I feel. 

           So I'm going to be straight up as I can from now on. And thus I am writing this blog post, being straight up with whoever might read it. I connect with all types of entities, and whether they're catagorized as demons or something else, I have had positive experiences with those that I do communicate with. I don't open myself up to just anyone, there's a process, but those that I do let in are positive ones for the most part. So no I'm not a Satanist, even though I wouldn't mind that label. If I'm going to be straight up, I don't feel Satan is all that bad. What was he guilty of in the bible? Gifting humans with the knowledge of good and evil, oh my God such a terrible thing right? In my opinion no. I think having that knowledge is great, as it helps us to really have free will and to grow as souls. But my point here is that I am not an "evil" person. I try to be friendly with whoever I come into contact with... unless I woke up on the wrong side of the bed that day or something. But for the most part I am a positive person. People have defined me as giddy, spacey, and sometimes even bubbley in my personality. I am a loving person, I try to give love as much as I can. Of coarse I have days when I feel like saying fuck the world, but who doesn't? It's like this... I try to be as genuine to myself as I can, and yes sometimes I fall short to that goal. But the thing is I try, and what more can I do then try? I try to help people as much as I can with my Psychic Readings I offer on my DarkSecretCreations shops. I try to share hope with people when I can. I try to see into the silver lining of situations. I try to learn from my mistakes and use those lessons to grow. I try not to fear beings just because of a Christian theory says I should fear them. I try to think outside the box and I try to follow my own path, not the path that is already laid out in front of me. I try to dance to my own Melody, haha pun intended. You get the gyst. 

           But friendships in this world is hard to maintain, because of each person's paths differ so greatly sometimes. Where is my kindred soul? Yes I feel very connected to my spirit family and the enitities I connect with through channeling and divination. Yes I feel connected to my immediate family and my husband. I even feel connected deeply to my pets. But I desire to have loving meaningful friendships in the physical. Why is that so hard when you're on a spiritual path? I have no clue... My husband feels the same. He wishes we had more physical friends of like interests, but thats so hard because we don't follow a predetermined path. We pave our own way spiritually, and it's hard to find people of like interests. Especially when you're open to communing with Demon figures, haha. So at least he and I found one another. I wonder has anyone else had these issues with friendship if you pave your own spiritual path? The saying goes, some friends come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. I've had the reason friends. I've had the season friends. Where the lifetime friends? 

          I don't want anyone thinking I'm friendless. I have childhood friends I still talk to. They're great. I also have another I talk with who is sort of Pagan, a bit in between Pagan and Christian. Two live far away, one lives up the road but is often busy with her child. I honor those friendships that I do have. But I'm talking about that kindred soul sort of friend. One that I feel I can be completely open with and share stuff with. Yes I feel that way with my husband and for that I am greatly lucky. But it would be kind of awesome to have a female friend to talk about spiritual stuff with and to hang out with. One that won't judge me for my beliefs or be afraid I'll send them negative entities or energies. One that might even share some of my beliefs, and we can learn from one another. One that lives relatively close so we can meet up or just chill with. But I must admit, I am a bit of a hermit. So I probably do not help the situation with that aspect of myself. I am just venting today. Thanks for reading. 

Cosmic Blessings, Melody