Thoughts From Under My Tree

       I sit here under my yellow poplar tree in the front yard. I'm looking at the green of the grass, and a cat sleeping in the yard. It's a beautiful sky today. A nice bright blue with big puffy white clouds. I got up early this morning and I got a chance to experience the energy of the morning. Normally I don't get up until about 8 or 9 p.m. But this morning I got up at about 6 p.m.. So I got an early start, of course after I drank some espresso. The energy of the morning time is very beautiful, but I still feel drawn to the sunset. There's something about the approaching night time as we anticipate the stars coming out shining in the dark. It's so magical.

        I have been thinking about a lot of stuff today. A lot of random things have been occurring in my life lately. It was also brought to my attention how I vent a lot of emotions on this website blog. Whatever you want to call it, yes I vent a lot of emotions on here. But I am proud of this little space on the internet that I call my own. I realized that I had not posted up anything in awhile, and I felt the need to say something. But on and off all day I had been wondering what I wanted to say. I don't know, and so even as I type this I am still wondering where this post is going. Isn't it the same with life. We go through life and knowing what the next corner will bring, but we need to have faith and hope that it will be positive. We need to have faith in ourselves and faith in our spirit teams. We need to have hope in ourselves and hope in our spirit teams. That's what I've been trying to do.

        So lately what's been going on in my life it's a lot of different things. Dwayne recently went to an eye doctor appointment, and he was nervous about it. We are generally not people who go to doctors unless it is absolutely necessary. Whether you consider that good or bad, it's what we do. We place a lot of our faith and spiritual and metaphysical healing. So far it has worked well for us. We have faith that it will continue to work well. But alas this is not about doctors or doctor visits. It's just that what something to happened recently. He got a new set of frames, and then decided to get a purple pair as a backup. We have been planning on going to the beach and just sitting there for a little while. We have also been planning on going to the gym to get our exercise on.

       Dwayne had a birthday on April 30th. Mine is coming up on July 5th. We use our birthdays as ways to celebrate our spirit family. We have joined together or Spirit team, consisting of our Spirit guides and a lot of other entities we connect with regularly. We have joined them together, and we celebrate the bonding that we share with them on his and my birthdays. So that was something that was fun. We took a week off of doing psychic readings. It was soothing. Even though I did have my mind on doing readings. I was not able to disassociate my mind from that spiritual work. So yeah a lot of humdrum stuff on the daily scheme of things. A lot of boring things. I'm a relatively boring person if you get to know me on a personal level. Not very exciting, haha. I'm not putting myself down it's just the way it is.

         Another aspect of my life that I have been contemplating a lot lately is my connection with Loki and Thor. These are two individuals that I have been reluctant to talk about publicly. Publicly in regards to this blog or my YouTube channel. I've just been sort of silent on the subject, but I have been regularly connecting with the both of them. Also I've been connecting with a lot of other entities. Some of which have been knew. There is an underworld demon that has been in my life lately, and I decided to befriend him. That has been exciting to befriend entities who are commonly misrepresented or misunderstood. I feel as though everybody has something to teach you, and I'm open to learning. I have recently had a few people communicate with me about the topic of Godspouses. This is a topic that I was straying away from for a while. No particular reason, I just didn't feel the need to talk about the subject. I have done a few blog post about it, I have done a few YouTube videos about it. There's none much else I could say about the topic, or so I thought, but I suppose I am misunderstood. Because the topic keeps reoccurring in my life. So you could probably expect me to talk about this topic again in the future.

         Really not much else has been going on. I've been enjoying the slow movements that life sometimes brings. Like floating along in the water, that's what I feel like I'm doing right now. Just enjoying the ride as I float along the water that is life. It's a beautiful thing in my opinion. I'm not sure if I'm making any sense to anyone else out there, but I feel like I'm making sense to myself. Recently I had somebody reach out to me who was “representing” Loki and this person claimed to have a message for me. I feel the message was more for this person rather then for me, but this person wasn’t open to equal friendship. But this Loki person said they couldn’t read what was wrong with me so they could give the message. It made me smile a bit, because it’s confirmation that my spirit team are helping me keep my privacy spiritually and emotionally. I like to share my thoughts and emotions, but only those of which I feel guided to. I don’t want spiritual people seeing into my shit unless I ask them to.

        Speaking of Loki, he has been giving me signs lately that he has various messages for me. I'm going to deeply connect tonight. I will admit I have been focusing a lot more on some of my other Spirit guides. I have also been focusing upon Thor, whom I call Hondor, more. Particularly with the connection that he and I have in regards to my soul past. A particular past life. I've been diving deeper into my soul missions and deeper into my soul experiences. It's a beautiful thing. I've been learning so much more about myself and it's things that I can apply to my current lifetime. I feel like I'm progressing so much spiritually, and it is helping me in the physical. I've been overcoming a lot of Shadow work lately. Basically just sorting through negative emotions and negative things. Understanding the negative, then releasing it to make way for more positive things. I haven't had many dreams lately or astral travels. My dreams have been very inconsistent. But when I do have a dream it is thorough. I have been with Loki and Hondor in a few dreams as well as the new Underworld demon has showed in one of my dreams. I have met new people in my dreams. Some are people that I have never seen before in my physical life here on Earth. But these people tend to reoccur in my dream. Basically they're members of my soul family, but I just don't recognize all of them yet. If anybody is out there reading this, I commend you for reading this far into my randomness.

My Pursuit Of Pagan Friendship

             I don't understand friendships here on earth. It's something that I must have lost a luster for, because I am just so over trying to keep friendships going. Whether they be in person friendships or distant friendships. I think my beliefs is a part of what pushes people away, but my beliefs are my own and I guess I can see how that's a lot to take in. I am not extremely open with people about my beliefs, but when I do open up... slowly people end up pushing away from me. It's like what the fuck?! To explain myself properly, I guess I have to be open a little about some of my beliefs. I have a very Pagan lifestyle. It's not a religion to me, it's much more then a belief, it's a way of life for me and my husband. No it's not about casting spells and shit like that, which is fine, but we only do those things when needed. Such as to defend ourselves, protect or cleanse ourselves, or to manifest something. 

           My Pagan side has got me to a point where I try to keep my spiritual focus in daily life. I also channel entities sometimes, not always though, but sometimes. Entities such as Deities, Demons, Angels, Other Dimensional Beings, "Aliens", etc. Yes I said Demons. I like to try to see the good in everyone, because honestly it's about balance. Yin and Yang. I have had positive experiences with entities most commonly known as Demons. But that is also something that I don't discuss with people much, but when I do become open about it... people end up pushing themselves away from me. Christian Fear? Maybe... I don't really know. But what I do know is that I'm tired of trying to hide what I feel. 

           So I'm going to be straight up as I can from now on. And thus I am writing this blog post, being straight up with whoever might read it. I connect with all types of entities, and whether they're catagorized as demons or something else, I have had positive experiences with those that I do communicate with. I don't open myself up to just anyone, there's a process, but those that I do let in are positive ones for the most part. So no I'm not a Satanist, even though I wouldn't mind that label. If I'm going to be straight up, I don't feel Satan is all that bad. What was he guilty of in the bible? Gifting humans with the knowledge of good and evil, oh my God such a terrible thing right? In my opinion no. I think having that knowledge is great, as it helps us to really have free will and to grow as souls. But my point here is that I am not an "evil" person. I try to be friendly with whoever I come into contact with... unless I woke up on the wrong side of the bed that day or something. But for the most part I am a positive person. People have defined me as giddy, spacey, and sometimes even bubbley in my personality. I am a loving person, I try to give love as much as I can. Of coarse I have days when I feel like saying fuck the world, but who doesn't? It's like this... I try to be as genuine to myself as I can, and yes sometimes I fall short to that goal. But the thing is I try, and what more can I do then try? I try to help people as much as I can with my Psychic Readings I offer on my DarkSecretCreations shops. I try to share hope with people when I can. I try to see into the silver lining of situations. I try to learn from my mistakes and use those lessons to grow. I try not to fear beings just because of a Christian theory says I should fear them. I try to think outside the box and I try to follow my own path, not the path that is already laid out in front of me. I try to dance to my own Melody, haha pun intended. You get the gyst. 

           But friendships in this world is hard to maintain, because of each person's paths differ so greatly sometimes. Where is my kindred soul? Yes I feel very connected to my spirit family and the enitities I connect with through channeling and divination. Yes I feel connected to my immediate family and my husband. I even feel connected deeply to my pets. But I desire to have loving meaningful friendships in the physical. Why is that so hard when you're on a spiritual path? I have no clue... My husband feels the same. He wishes we had more physical friends of like interests, but thats so hard because we don't follow a predetermined path. We pave our own way spiritually, and it's hard to find people of like interests. Especially when you're open to communing with Demon figures, haha. So at least he and I found one another. I wonder has anyone else had these issues with friendship if you pave your own spiritual path? The saying goes, some friends come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. I've had the reason friends. I've had the season friends. Where the lifetime friends? 

          I don't want anyone thinking I'm friendless. I have childhood friends I still talk to. They're great. I also have another I talk with who is sort of Pagan, a bit in between Pagan and Christian. Two live far away, one lives up the road but is often busy with her child. I honor those friendships that I do have. But I'm talking about that kindred soul sort of friend. One that I feel I can be completely open with and share stuff with. Yes I feel that way with my husband and for that I am greatly lucky. But it would be kind of awesome to have a female friend to talk about spiritual stuff with and to hang out with. One that won't judge me for my beliefs or be afraid I'll send them negative entities or energies. One that might even share some of my beliefs, and we can learn from one another. One that lives relatively close so we can meet up or just chill with. But I must admit, I am a bit of a hermit. So I probably do not help the situation with that aspect of myself. I am just venting today. Thanks for reading. 

Cosmic Blessings, Melody