I have someone in my life who I recently had some conversations with. I do not want to name this person, but for the sake of this post I am going to be refering to this person as EJ. Well EJ is someone who is into conspiracy theories and many other things. I am someone who is into that too, but it's not to the degree that EJ is. EJ and I had a conversation, and I say conversation... but it was more like EJ talking to me and me listening. Whenever I would try to say something, EJ would automatically discount it. EJ wouldn't listen to my opinion, and if EJ did listen then EJ would end up discounting what I felt as not being correct. EJ won't listen to me in this conversation, and I was looking for a conversation. But what I ended up getting was EJ telling me that what I think I know is bullshit, telling me that I don't know anything spiritually and whatever I have gone through is nothing compared to what EJ has gone through. EJ asked me what have I done this week to make someone truly happy. EJ was fixing the floors in the home I share with family. So EJ was doing that out of kindness, or so I thought. It wasn't until EJ said what EJ said that I realized the bigger reason EJ was helping with a soft spot in our floors was to do good deeds. So I'll get back to that in a moment.
EJ asked me what I had done this week to make someone happy. What have I done unselfishly to help someone this week. EJ then proceeded to say, "why do you think I am doing this." By this EJ meant helping with the floor. EJ didn't say this in a peaceful way. EJ said it in an egotistical in your face sort of way. Or at least tat's the way I took it. I didn't respond to EJ. I didn't tell EJ what deeds I may have done. I feel EJ know's about the psychic readings I do, the youtube videos I do. I feel EJ might even know about this website. And so I feel EJ was wanting me to bring up these things. I feel EJ wanted me to say, "I have helped people with psychic readings or with my youtube video spiritual topics." But I didn't say that. I didn't mainly because whatever good deeds I do, I don't feel like I need to pronounce it to the world or to anyone for that matter. I admit there is more I could be doing. I admit I could donate my time to local places. I could do this or that. But can't we all say that? There's always more we potentially could do. But EJ assumed I am just sitting selfishly on my ass waiting for people to give me handouts.
I live with my family and so does my husband Dwayne. It's not the most ideal place, but we make the best out of it. We have the choice of staying with his family, and we chose not to because my mother didn't want me to move to another state. She sometimes get's very emotional and very worried about her kids. And so instead of putting her through that, we stayed here. Dwayne and I have goals. We want to buy an RV and live in that. Sure we could get an appartment or something, but an RV would be great for us. We don't have any children. We are still young, and we work from home. What better place then to live in an RV and be able to travel whereever we want? Those are our goals. I explain this because EJ judges. EJ doesn't see that. EJ see's me in the way EJ always has, and EJ bashed my beliefs. I am an ectlectic personal spiritually. I do not agree with organized religion.
I have Pagan beliefs. And EJ disagrees with that I feel, because every time I would say something to EJ, EJ would bash it and put it down. EJ brought up the Ashtar Command (a seption of the Galactic Federation Of Light) and I asked EJ what EJ thought of it, and EJ replied as though EJ was open about it all. So then I felt free to say that I completely agree with the Ashtar Command and the Galactics. I told EJ how I like those channelings and how I'm into those Galactic Councils. Then EJ shifted and began talking about how I shouldn't trust the Ashtar Command or anyone like that. It's like EJ wants to play mind games or perhaps EJ controdicts themself and doesn't realize? EJ would ask me something, like do you know such and such, and then EJ wouldn't let me respond. EJ would reply, no I know you don't. EJ has strong beliefs about racism, womens rights, and such that completely go different then what I believe. But instead of being open to my beliefs or words, EJ gets authoritative. I feel sorry for EJ, because EJ has such intense vibes, and I don't mean that in a good way. EJ's vibes are very draining, and EJ is a very stressful person to be around. But I love EJ, EJ is someone who's been in my life and someone I cannot easily get rid of. But if EJ is reading this, you know if you're EJ then I assume you don't like that I am posting about this publicly on my website. But it's my way of venting, because I refuse to debate and argue with you.
I don't have to defend my position to you or anyone really. My beliefs are my own, and I must learn in my own timing. But EJ, if you want to teach people what you feel is right, then you need to learn patience. You need to be patient with people. You cannot automatically expect people to understand in the way you feel it should be. We all have different minds, and different emotional processes. Your intensity comes off abrisive, and I know you feel that's a good thing because you feel you need to defend your position... Perhaps you feel you're helping people by spelling things out for them. But you spell it out to them in your own language, in your own thinking. And so not everyone thinks the way you do. And if you want to help people to see your position, then you need to stop with the authoritative stance being all abrasive, because it is a put off. Nobody wants to be demeaned. Nobody wants to be talked at. They want to be talked to. You talk at people EJ. You don't talk to people, and that's why you push people away from you. That's why people get angry with you. We all have ego that we deal with, and I know you're dealing with your own shadows. But demeaning people and not even listening to them isn't the way to go EJ. I vent this out because you're so very stressing to be around, but I do love you so.
If you're reading this and are not EJ then this has been quite a confusing post for you to read through. But maybe you have an EJ out there... Someone who puts your beliefs down? Someone who won't listen to your point of view? So maybe you can relate to me? Anyway thanks for reading this whole thing. Much love to you!!
Cosmic Blessings
I can definitely relate to this!
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