Memories & Lessons From My Childhood: Bully Experiences

Memories & Lessons From My Childhood:

Bully Experiences

        Sometime this morning I had a memory come into my mind. It was a memory from elementary school around 3rd or 4th grade. My classmates and I were standing in line after finishing gym class. We were waiting to go back to our classroom. It's important to note that when I was in school I was shy, and being in elementary school my shyness was even worse. I did talk to some, but compared to the other kids I tended to be very reserved. Well back to the point... we were standing in line. There was a boy there who was upset with me for some reason. I don't remember why he was upset now. But it was on this day I was feeling a bit more outgoing then I usually would. This boy wasn't a bully. I never really had any issues with him before then or after then. But obviously it was something like a misunderstanding. He had threatened to hit me. I bravely said for him to go ahead and try to hit me then. He was shocked that I didn't back down, and backed up about 10 feet. His intentions was to run straight for me and knock me down. You know what... that may have been why he was upset. I may have accidentally knocked into him. Whatever the case, he was ready to run at me full speed. I stood there and looked at him. The other classmates saw, but the teachers wasn't paying attention. I wasn't afraid. As he frantically ran towards me, I waited for him to get close he reached his hands out to push me hard. I moved to the side, and he fell to ground. This pissed him off, and I'm sure it embarrassed him. He backed up and tried to run at me again, but I dodged him again. This happened a few times before a teacher came closer, and he stopped. The other kids were asking me how I learned to fight. I remember thinking that I wasn't fighting, I was just dodging his craziness. But I had replied that I had three brothers. Eventually later that day the boy apologized, and we didn't have anymore issues after that.

         After I thought of this memory I related it to people being in such a hectic rush in life. Wanting to hurry things forward and not be patient. Wanting success now and fast acting goals. The boy ran towards his goal full force, but wasn't paying attention and fell. While I was patient and observant and saw more clearly what was ahead of me. This can be related to life. If we have something we want to manifest, we need to be more patient and observant. Don't be like the boy who was quick to anger and act in harsh emotions. His results wasn't what he wanted, because he pushed things too fast. We must be patient and observant towards our goals. Planning out our strategy so that we can more clearly see into the obstacles that may be ahead of us. I hope this makes sense to you, because it does to me.

        There was another time in middle school where there was this girl who would always mess with me. She would say rude things like calling me and my friends fat or ugly. Whatever it was, it was insults by a bully who obviously was hurting more then me inside. I had issues with her on and off since elementary school, and I never took up for myself. I took a silent action and didn't say anything back. Her words bothered me, but I thought saying something might only fuel her more. Well it was in middle school when she got worse. It appeared the fates aligned against me, because her locker was assigned right next to mine. One day she was using her locker, and had the door all the way opened blocking mine. My locker mate (we had to share lockers) was kneeling down trying to get in the locker, but it was closed shut by her door. I politely asked her to move her locker, and she said no. I moved it for her, and she slammed up open blocking my locker again. At this point I was still mainly shy, but I had moments of being more outgoing. This was one of those moments. I stood up, and slammed her locker shut. She looked at me, and threatened to hit me. I said do it then!! Because I was told if someone hits you then you hit them back. At this point I wanted her to hit me. She replied, no you hit me first. She was backing down!! I had told her off and after that I didn't really have much more issues with her. Later in life I found out that she had a lot of depression issues throughout her life. I assume stemming from issues at home. So she would pick on me, and others I'm sure, to make herself feel better. But it obviously didn't work long term.

        This reminds me of people in life who are very ego driven or wanting people to see them only in positive lights. People who go above and beyond to belittle other people or show other people only one aspect of themselves. They don't show their true selves. Just like she wasn't showing her true self by being a bully. Deep down she was a hurt girl trying to make herself feel better. And I wasn't being my true self by being shy. If I would have spoke out more others would have known me better. She was guarded, and I was guarded... but each of us in different ways. Maybe if we wasn't as guarded we could have been great friends. But I look back on those moments, and I see these lessons. This has all came to me today. I thought they were good reflections, and I wanted to share. I hope they find you well. If you have any you'd like to share or can relate in some way then let me know in the comments.

Cosmic Blessings